Mid-day

So, I spent the morning trying to keep the kids unified in their activities so I could be with them all. I read a stack of books and fed them and that is all we got done. The house is a mess, the chores are not done, barely any homeschool completed. But, we did spend some positive time together and I dealt with a couple of Brenn's tantrums in a positive way. And I really enjoyed reading the books to them. It was fun.

But when they wandered off to get something or do something, I found I had very little tolerance for waiting for them. If they were gone for 30 seconds I was looking around for a magazine to read or wanting an activity to keep me busy.

Now I need to bring the house back on line. It's discouraging to think I can't keep the kids interactions positive and stay on top of the house. It's like it is all more than I can handle.

Well that attempt failed miserably. I went outside to spend some time with the kids, noticed the garden peas were falling down on each other, and started to construct the bamboo lattice. I tried to get them involved but ended up dashing between the project, the kids playing with the half grown chicks, the baby in the shade, and the boy trying to comandeer a bamboo stick for questionable whapping purposes. A trip inside the house to discover the 3 year old trying to get into the vitamins.

When I went out to spend time with the kids, I really didn't want to. I felt compelled, not loving. And they were busy doing their own thing so it was easy enough to get busy doing my gardening project. I half-heartedly tried to get them to help me. But soon enough I was dashing between kids trying to get them to behave instead of misbehave.

So, new resolve, to spend quality time with each family member - try each day to do one thing positive with each. At least one positive exchange.

That seems more do-able than an all day enforced diet.

Wife and Mother...

Wife, mother, and so many other things. Women today are so many things in their spare time. Crafters, bloggers, knitters, scrapbookers, writers, bakers, home decorators, photographers... This in addition to all the work they do inside and outside the home and the raising of the children or the pets. Oh, and being a loving partner to their loving other. It is all so much and so much has been written about how to balance, prioritize, redefine or not define ourselves in and amidst all these choices. I love it. I love all the fun activities and I love trolling the blogs for fun ideas for my family. But sometimes I feel overloaded. Sometimes I wonder if I really need to bookmark one more blog idea that will make me feel guilty if I don't get to it soon. Sometimes I wonder if all the choices are leaving me more scattered than satisfied. More fractured than fully engaged.

I want to enjoy all the fun activites I enjoy. Writing, digiscrapping our family photos, gardening, hiking, sewing and crafting, homeschooling our children, cooking, photographing our busy kids, blogging their funny memories, reading, volunteer work with a Breastfeeding Advocacy group, keeping up with friends and family, volunteering with our homeschool group... But all that on top of maintaining home and family is getting to be a bit much. I know my priorities. Family is first. Being a wife and mother is my most important role.

So what if I just dropped the rest for a month. An experiment. Just focus on being a wife and mother for 30 days with no hobbies or outside commitments unless they directly relate to bettering our family. So cooking stays, but kid friendly, no new gourmet recipe trials. Hiking only as a family activity. Writing daily only to record the progress,

And let's start now...